“Newborn”

Newborn

It’s cold in here, colder than I thought it would be.  For the past nine months I was pretty warm, but knew toward the end something would be happening.  Up until then though, it had been decent for me.  But then, what do I know about decent?  I haven’t been around all that long.

Warm is all I cared about back then.  Well, that and food.  Mom seemed to eat well.  She must have, ’cause I don’t remember any days being hungry.

It’s amazing what you can hear in there, too.  I could hear a lot.  Sometimes music.  Well, a lot of times music.  The music always came with a lot of jiggling, too.  ‘Dancing’ was what I heard it called; see, it’s amazing the things you hear.  Mom did a lot of dancing over the past few months.  I kind of liked it.  I can’t wait to do it with her myself.

I heard a lot of yelling, though.  I guess that happens, but I don’t like that very much.  She was always shouting with some guy; my dad I’d guess.  Sometimes it was about me.  You can hear a lot more than you think in there.  I hope I don’t run into a lot of that yelling stuff when I get bigger.  I like dancing; shouting, not so much.

Wow, come to think of it, it really is cold in here.  Not just colder than I thought it would be, but really, really cold.  I just had this feeling that once I was out here they’d try to keep me as warm as I was back inside.

You know, it’s dark, too.  I mean, maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be, but I wouldn’t have thought so.  I had this dream that, once I came into the world, there would be lights and others like me and sounds.  Not just the sounds I heard when I was inside, but all kinds of new sounds.  I just thought I would.  I could be wrong.  I mean, what do I know?  I haven’t been around all that long.

That’s something, too.  There’s no one else.  I mean, in this dark, there’s even less noise than before.  Oh, I hear noises, but they seem so far off.  They are different sounds, but I can’t make them out from here.  All I hear the darkness is my own echo when I cry.  I mostly cry because it’s cold and now I am so hungry.  It’s weird that mom isn’t nearby.  She used to be so close and was so good about getting food to me.  And I was warm. 

Maybe that’s how I’m supposed to be: cold and hungry and lonely. 

How would I know?  I haven’t been around all that long.