“#fridayflash No. 5: The End”

Posted in Short Stories by Celebrate the Spectrum on 11/13/2009

The End

He struggled through the last section of the rock outcropping. He was sweating as though he had been hiking for days. Instead it had barely been one.

At the end of the boulder pathway, through the densest part of the woods, he could see the clearing. This was it. This was the clearing he could see from hundreds of feet below only hours earlier. It was this spot he had been striving for, an open place to see the valley below, the end of his journey.

As he pushed apart the trees, the young man stepped onto the ledge hanging over the world below. From this vantage point there was little doubt. It was true. The world he had known just twenty-four hours before, the people whom he had eaten supper with just three meals ago, everything that ever mattered to him was laid to waste beneath his feet.

Tagged with: #FridayFlash, Short Stories, The End

16 comments

16 Responses

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Marisa Birns said, on 11/13/2009 at 22:03

Very intriguing!

Liked the staccato beat to the short sentences, ending in the flow of words of the last one.

Reply
Jon the Storyteller said, on 11/13/2009 at 22:15

Thanks Marisa. Very kind words.

Reply
mazzz_in_Leeds said, on 11/14/2009 at 08:44

Oooh, total destruction, I like it!

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- Jon the Storyteller said, on 11/14/2009 at 10:04
  
  Maria,
  
  Who doen’t like obliteration?
Deanna Schrayer said, on 11/14/2009 at 10:03

How sad! Brilliantly told ending. Give us the beginning and the middle…please.

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- Jon the Storyteller said, on 11/14/2009 at 10:05
  
  The begining and the middle are for your mind Deanna — your imagination tells the story and it’s up to you to decide how this happened
soesposito said, on 11/14/2009 at 10:29

Bloodthirsty mutant alien vampire robots, right???? lol. Very Cormac McCarthy of you, Jon. Feel hopeless and empty now, thanks. (just kidding…lol) But swift & effective, this one. Nice.

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- Jon the Storyteller said, on 11/14/2009 at 11:21
  
  Thanks Shannon. Anything I can ever do to help, feel free to ask!
donaldconrad said, on 11/14/2009 at 16:31

Holy cow. There has to be a gazillion directions something like this could head off to. It could be the beginning or the end of something much larger. And yet it stands by itself just as well. Cool. Thanks.

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- Jon the Storyteller said, on 11/14/2009 at 22:36
  
  Thanks Donald. I’m glad you like it! You know, it was actually tough writing such a short piece.
Laura Eno said, on 11/14/2009 at 19:48

I like total destruction! I’m wondering what he’s going to do next…

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- Jon the Storyteller said, on 11/14/2009 at 22:37
  
  laura,
  
  I like to think he’s on the ledge for a more “permanent” purpose…but who knows???
David Shrock said, on 11/14/2009 at 20:45

A flash flash. This hits the spot.

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- Jon the Storyteller said, on 11/14/2009 at 22:38
  
  David,
  
  That’s the effect I was going for…woohoo ~ Got one right!
Olivia said, on 11/16/2009 at 13:21

You sure did get it right! This is the first time I had a chance to read your work, and I think it was a great place to start. What you say here is very tight and concise. What you don’t say is mysterious and intriguing! Thanks for sharing this.

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- Jon the Storyteller said, on 11/22/2009 at 11:39
  
  Thanks Olivia. This was actually kinda tough to write…I thought a short short would be easy.
  
  Please read some of my other stuff if you get a chance; like “The Parked Car” or “Newborn”
  
  (my wife loved your ’4am’ story, BTW, she could so relate)!

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